I’m a terrible cook. I used to scramble eggs, that was about it. So it took me 26 years to figure out that every time I opened a cookbook my wife curled up next to me within a few minutes. It also took decades to learn that things just go a lot better around the house if I vacuum, learn the names of her current students, or listen to her accounts of last night’s episode of The Amazing Race (which I can’t watch because it makes me too anxious).
To build resilient connections, spend a little time each day on this: ask not what your relationships can do for you, but what you can you do for your relationships. We were raised by Madison Avenue and Hollywood to expect a happy relationship to fall in our laps – hey, it seemed to work for every man who drove a Mustang. So many of us, when we aren’t getting the love we want, sit pining, yearning, grieving that no one has come along to pick us up and hold us. But adult “love” is an action verb. I actually did fall in love with my wife the moment I met her, but we managed to have many pretty unhappy years until we learned the craft of making each other happy.
Building this habit is a key component of successful couples therapy, but it’s not limited to couples, it applies to bosses, kids and the guy who rings up our purchases.
Give us some anecdotes! What little things do you do to make the people around you happy?
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from http://bridgecentertherapy.com/my-wife-loves-it-when-i-open-a-cookbook/
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