The Coach From Down Under

Tim Edwards, MBBS

When Tim Edwards grew up in Australia, he heard an often-told joke: you could tell the difference between a computer and an Aussie because, “You only have to punch information into a computer once.” If somebody said you were sensitive, he was challenging you to a fight. Tim was sensitive. He had to learn how to manage some very tough situations, without using his fists.

When we formed The Bridge Center, we wanted to make a home for distinctively impactful therapists and coaches—in a word: change-makers. We also knew we wanted to combine depth, and clinical and academic rigor, with practicality. Tim managed a drug treatment program that Dan. We knew that he had been globetrotting for over two decades, training in every coaching and therapeutic intervention he could find. The timing was right–he was about to marry his beautiful French girlfriend, Dona, and they were choosing a place to settle–and he got my vision of what we could build here.  Tim moved permanently to the U.S., got his citizenship, and became a cornerstone of The Bridge Center.

For over 20 years, Tim has coached people on ways to draw upon their strengths, intuition, and common sense to overcome anxiety, depression, trauma and other psychological difficulties. He draws from the techniques of cognitive-behavioral, emotion-focused, humanistic, and depth therapies, as well as relational psychoanalysis. Trained in psychiatry at the University of Western Australia Medical School, Tim graduated with a Medical Degree (MBBS). Fascinated by the psychological impact of medical training, he co-founded the school’s mentoring program and curriculum stream on personal and professional development, which they use to this day. But Tim was increasingly inspired by Australia’s emerging shift to Personal Coaching over traditional psychiatric approaches, and he chose to forgo residency and medical licensure and devoted his life to the burgeoning Australian coaching movement. He has a specialty in coaching physicians and other medical professionals, who, as he learned in medical school, face unique challenges.

 

We were quick to learn in our case conferences that our Director of Coaching’s one-two combination of profound insight and cut-to-the-chase practicality packs quite a wallop… the sensitive kind.

The post The Coach From Down Under appeared first on |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley.

from |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley http://www.bridgecentertherapy.com/general/the-coach-from-down-under/

Doing Couples Therapy Like Sully Sullenberger

Sully Sullenberger was piloting an Airbus A320 with about 150 people sitting behind him when birds flew into both his engines, and suddenly they were dropping through the air in a silent airplane. What was his first act as Captain? He turned to his First Officer and said, “Open the manual.” They were falling through space, everybody was screaming, and he wants to look in the manual?

Our brains are designed to get simple in an emergency. The DNA that survived belonged to the early humans who could act without thinking when a carnivorous kangaroo or bear-sized hyena was after them (yes, that actually happened), or when the only food they’d seen in a week was about to run away.

The problem is, when our life partner who looked so beautiful when we met them starts to snarl at us, our instincts kick in and we do stupid things that seem like our only choice at the moment. We act without thinking.

The airline industry figured this out a long time ago: in an emergency, it is hard to think, so we need to make simple checklists of things to do that will save our asses. When your partner criticizes you, turns you down, or rolls their eyes, you probably want to fight back or walk out, and your gut thinks it’s an emergency. And those are usually the perfect things to do — if you want to make your marriage worse. What would have happened if Sully had shouted, “Oh no you don’t!” and jumped out the window or slugged his copilot?

One of the key things we want to help you learn from couples therapy is this safety checklist:

The next time you want to do the thing you do that makes it all worse…

Sully? He made aeronautics history by landing his massive, inert hunk of metal on the Hudson River. Because procedures like these work, you’ll find that they start to become habits that replace your old reflexes. Instead of shouting, you will learn to cool off and speak reasonably. Instead of withdrawing, you’ll start to say, “What do you mean?” With every safe landing your relationship will improve. You may be astonished by how much your partner starts to resemble that beautiful person you met for the first time.

The post Doing Couples Therapy Like Sully Sullenberger appeared first on |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley.

from |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley http://www.bridgecentertherapy.com/uncategorized/couples-therapy-like-sully-sullenberger/

The NY Times Loves Oakland

For their latest rave about our highly unique community, see here:

The post The NY Times Loves Oakland appeared first on |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley.

from |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley http://www.bridgecounselingoakland.com/uncategorized/the-ny-times-loves-oakland/

Reading the Truth in a Person’s Face

You may have heard about the pioneering research of Dr. Paul Ekman, who has catalogued the facial expressions (all the way down to every one of 43 facial muscles) for each of the core emotions, which he’s identified as sad, happy, fear, anger, contempt, disgust and surprise. His work, popularized by the tv program, “Lie to Me,” and the great animated feature, “Inside Out,” deals with the decoding  of “microexpressions,” expressions that flash across a person’s face so quickly that we often don’t see them, especially if the person doesn’t want us to know what they are actually feeling. With practice, these expressions can be recognized, and he’s just released a new version of his online training program. More about it here: https://www.paulekman.com/micro-expression-training/

 

The post Reading the Truth in a Person’s Face appeared first on |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley.

from |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley http://www.bridgecounselingoakland.com/uncategorized/reading-the-truth-in-a-persons-face/

Talking to Your Older Self

We spend a lot of time in therapy talking to our younger selves. (“The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” Faulkner) But this is a hilarious and oddly thought-provoking experiment Stoney Emshwiller ran 38 years ago – he recorded a bunch of questions for his older self, and now he’s recording the answers. http://boingboing.net/2015/11/06/man-interviews-himself-38-year.html

The post Talking to Your Older Self appeared first on |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley.

from |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley http://www.bridgecounselingoakland.com/uncategorized/talking-to-your-older-self/

Want to Build a Habit? Focus on Feeling Good.

The NY Times ran an article today (http://nyti.ms/1fXyhww) summarizing data on what keeps people exercising that might surprise you. ”

“People whose goals are weight loss and better health tend to spend the least amount of time exercising… Rather, immediate rewards that enhance daily life — more energy, a better mood, less stress and more opportunity to connect with friends and family — offer far more motivation.” Researcher Michelle Segar recommends counting everything you do to move around – climb the stairs, walk to the store, count it all.

It applies to any habit change: measure what you want to watch grow – smoking cessation, increased extraversion, whatever – and remind yourself, often, with as much variety and engagement as you can, how the change benefits the way you feel.

The post Want to Build a Habit? Focus on Feeling Good. appeared first on |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley.

from |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley http://www.bridgecounselingoakland.com/uncategorized/want-to-build-a-habit-focus-on-feeling-good/

“Inside Out” Will Bring Out Your Insides, or Why Sad Can Be Just What You Need

It’s time to stop pinning my love of sappy movies on, “My daughter dragged me…” She was gratified when I cried at “What a Girl Wants,” and happy to sit on the stairs of a sold-out theater (we snuck in) to see “Skyfall.” We’re both still recovering from the moment when (Spoiler Alert) Bambi’s mother is gunned down. I was the one who suggested, “Inside Out,” and I’m not afraid to tell the world. Two of the scientists whose work I most admire have my back on this one:

http://nyti.ms/1RWEiFl

The post “Inside Out” Will Bring Out Your Insides, or Why Sad Can Be Just What You Need appeared first on |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley.

from |The Bridge Counseling Center For Psychotherapy & Coaching | Oakland and Berkeley http://www.bridgecounselingoakland.com/uncategorized/inside-out-will-bring-out-your-insides-or-why-sad-can-be-just-what-you-need/